I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
