let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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