she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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