Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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