She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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