So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think I died a long time ago.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
