Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The uberlube is also flammable
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
