Can Purell be used as lube?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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