doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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