And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
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I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
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I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.