i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
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All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
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No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.