You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
