the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
