doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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