dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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