If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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