i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
