tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
