well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Apparently you make a good broom.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
