Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
