i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
