I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
its not stalking. its research.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
