This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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