Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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