I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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