Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
