but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
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I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
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I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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