:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
