so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
