My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
