Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
