Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
