Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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