So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
