You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I am spending my child support on dildos
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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