dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
