New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize