I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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