He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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