Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
