I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
