Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
