Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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