So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
