just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
