K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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