whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
