I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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