quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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