You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
