The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
