she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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