i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
