it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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