she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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