Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
