My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
