i just had sex bonerless
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
