Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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